A Journey to Better Health Isn't Linear

A few weeks ago I hosted and presented at my university's Best Your Best Self professional leadership conference. I touched upon how I grew as a leader. Naturally, I could not help but to touch upon my journey through my disordered eating. I believe my leadership skills truly emerged from handling and persevering through adversity. This resilience I developed has formed me into the strong woman that I am today. 

Talking about my past is not easy, in fact it brought up a lot of the old feelings I had and if I'm being honest, a relapse of disordered thinking. This realization inspired me to write this post, and I hope that some of the words on this page resonate with you. 

We have this idea that everything in our lives needs to be linear, one thing after the other, all slowly rising, improving, getting better... that is simply not the case. The journey to finding love for myself has been far from linear. Some months its great, and other months I have issues looking in the mirror, let alone acknowledging the hard work and effort I demonstrate every day. Because of this rollercoaster of a journey, I began to think I was a fraud talking about self love to a group of people. I preach loving and taking care of yourself, yet I go through phases were I do anything but honor myself and my body. Does this make me a fake person? Saying I am passionate about self-care, but I do not even practice it at times? For a while I thought I was a phony, but then I realized you do not have to be an expert to be a leader.

We often look at leadership as a straight line, you have the leader in front and others follow. With my self-love journey, I am looking at leadership as linking arms with those who follow me and my journey and we all working towards persevering together. I also realized that just because I do not have the perfect relationship with myself doesn't mean my passions aren't  valid. 

I believe I am so passionate about self love and care because its a difficult journey. It has so many components, and as I am going through this process of learning to find peace within myself, I believe if I share my successes and struggles I may be able to connect with another woman who is doing the same. 

Life is crazy at times, but its also the best gift we are ever given. 




1) Healing is not linear

2) Our journeys are not linear

3) The ups and downs of life are what make it so magical

Haley Lawlor